The holiday of my childhood

I recently wrote about feeling connected to my grandparents as I have focused on the Christmas story, and a good friend pointed out that creating a heritage and passing it on is one of the things religious traditions do. Well, they are called traditions, aren't they?

But that Christian holiday was a tradition and a heritage that I only received through my grandparents, for I am a second-generation heretic. My parents came of age in the hippie-era, and they both had rejected their Presbyterian upbringing before they met each other.

Looking back, I can see the journey they took as they moved away from their family traditions. My early Christmases were spent with extended family, being told that I had to "be polite". At home we never prayed or said grace, but we were expected to do those things at grandma's house. The family was still trying to "save" us, so we would always be given a child's Bible and be taken to church. My mother wouldn't let us take communion, and then grandma would glare.

So those early holidays were times of family stress, doubt, and a bit of shame. Over the years, my mother searched for new holiday traditions, and new ways to honor this time of year. And what we found was paganism, and the celebration of Yule, or the Winter Solstice. We put our own, personal twist on it, with a 12 day celebration, lighting a candle on our yule log each night and opening a small gift.

How many years does it take before you have a tradition? How many generations? My children, once again, have new traditions. My husband's family sends us wonderful advent packages, so the kids have a tradition of opening advent gifts. And I don't give them 12 days of gifts, but we still light our candles for 12 days after Yule, making specific wishes for the new year. We blend Yule and Christmas together, celebrating a "pagan Christmas". We talk about Santa Claus as "the spirit of winter", and Jesus as "a wise teacher". We open our advent gifts, sing our Christmas carols, light our Yule Log, get visited by Santa Claus, and go to candlelit services at our UU church.

It might be a mishmash, but it's the same mishmash that we are as a family. A bit of this from grandparent X, a bit of this from mom, a bit of this from dad, etc. And now this is our holiday, our tradition.


Somewhat related: "What Are We Celebrating?" at A Journey of Ministry