Thursday, November 19, 2009

Committee work as a spiritual practice

One thing that happens a lot at church are committee meetings. Lots, and lots, and lots of committee meetings. We talk. And we talk. And we debate. And we send a round of emails. And we talk some more.

This is the process, and how decisions almost always get made at church. And for all of these decisions and this work I have no control. This is a big thing for me, because I'm a bit of a control freak. I have strong opinions, and I am strongly attached to success.

But I have to let it go. In the end, it's not my church, not my space, not my program, and not my success. This is a group process, and all I can do is say my piece. It is an ongoing practice for me to work on letting go of attachment, whether it is to the color of my office (which the minister reminds me is not really "my" office, but is "the church DRE office"), the activities the youth group engage in, or the number of people who show up to family game night.

I still care - I have to care. I have to throw myself, heart and soul and willing hands, into a process but all I can do is try. I still have no control over outcome, and therefor I better not feel attached to it.

Here's somebody who says it better than I can: Monkey Mind has a "Small Meditation on Letting Go of the Results".

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