Monday, February 8, 2010

Talking about Relationships

Noel's flower

This week, in honor of Valentine's Day, I present you with a week of my completely unsolicitated, anecdotal, and opinionated advice about maintaining a happy relationship. And I have the gall to do this even though I don't have a perfect relationship!

The first piece of advice is to try and Be romantic and loving while not Expecting romance.

I grew up on a diet of romance novels, which all left me with the impression that true love came with Grand Gestures.

What I have found in life is that my husband does not Do Grand Gestures. Don't ask us for the story of when he proposed - nope, no proposal. This has caused me much disappointment and distress, but it doesn't have to.

Will he make me feel like a Princess? No. Should he have to? No. You know who can make you feel like a Princess? YOU. Buy yourself flowers, take time for massages or pedicures, make the effort to dress yourself so you feel good about your body, and generally practice true self-care. And then, after you've done that for yourself, try and do it for your partner.

If you feel good about yourself, other people are more likely to feel good about you too. And if you feel good about yourself, you are going to be less resentful and irritable and find it easier to be loving toward others. It's an all-around win!


  1. I am looking forward to your week of advice! I love it! I didn't get a grand gesture of proposal either and it hurts me sometimes, too. But I, too, read way way too many romance novels and watched too many love story movies. It sets us women up to be disappointed and it's such a shame. But I wholeheartedly agree about total self care. When I feel good about myself I am definitely more in love with my husband and family and life in general. I can't wait for tomorrow's kernel of truth!

  2. I didn't get a proposal, either...I think he sort of turned over awkwardly in bed after we'd talked it through and decided to get married and "proposed". Meh. I didn't marry a romantic person, though, and I'm not romantic either, so it's fine...although Sarah's engagement story with the cooking pot made me cry. I love how it wasn't hearts-and-roses but it was *incredibly* romantic. He sounds like a keeper :)