Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Differences as Strengths

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Here's my 3rd piece of Relationship Wisdom:

Try to see your differences as sources of strength.

Are you a morning person and your partner is a night owl? Sure, this might be a problem sometimes. But it also might be really great when you have little kids or another task that could be divided into "shifts".

I am emotional and introspective and my husband is repressed and hyper-rational. Sometimes this makes us disagree, but it also means that we balance each other when it comes to decision making, and his rational dispassion keeps me from being too knee-jerk while my compassion keeps him from being callous.

Other examples could be a social person partnered with a shy person - rather than focusing on how much you wish the other person was more like you, be glad that they can supply the balance and perspective and take on the tasks you aren't as naturally good at.

This sounds simple, but it will take mindfullness to reframe your thoughts like this. It's easy to say "why can't you see it MY way?", and it's harder to hear the other's perspective and take wisdom from that diversity. But it is well worth the effort.

Love your differences!

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