Today is a traveling day, spent in airports and on airplanes, in taxi cabs and hotel rooms. I do not do particularly well with days like this, and find that the lack of firm placement in the world makes me anxious and jumpy. It's a bit better when I drive somewhere, because then the car becomes the "place", or a sort of home away from home.
But I could not have driven to Phoenix for the UUA's "Justice" GA, and I also could not skip it just because I am a poor traveller. So here I am, in an extremely small and funky historic hotel room (built in 1927, this hotel has historic interest, but back then they really didn't have to give people windows or wide doors or bathtubs or anything).
And now what do I do? Professional Day for the DRE's is tomorrow, and then the main GA stuff starts on Thursday, and here I am on Tuesday afternoon, sitting in my dinky little hotel room and realizing I am accountable to no one and could go do whatever I like. This is always a bizarre feeling, whenever I actually get to experience it. Trips are the big chance to feel this way, but I sometimes get this feeling in my hometown, on the days I have childcare arranged and nothing ends up getting scheduled for work, so I drop the kids off and then ... what?
Is the inability to think of what you would want to do all by yourself a feature of parenthood or is it just me? And do non-parents also experience this, that without others to relate to, or a schedule to keep, you just aren't sure what to do with yourself?
Nope, not just you. When my kids go to a movie or have a day planned with Dad, I feel at loose ends. Sometimes I "waste" the free time by taking a nap or doing housework instead of something I enjoy.
ReplyDeleteIt's really hard to get out of Mommy mode. You can't just snap in and out of it!
I hope you enjoyed the conference!