I need to breathe.
I need to let go.
Each and everytime I have a vacation, I run up against my perfectionism and my illusion of control.
I feel like if I stop pushing, the world will stop turning. I am pushing myself against life and I usually don't take much of a break from that.
Because, after all, it would all fall apart if I wasn't here, right?
How egotistical. How grasping. What was they said in Star Wars? "The harder you squeeze your fist, the more will slip from your grasp?" Something like that.
I am going to be gone for a week - and two Sundays at work. We are in the midst of transition and change in our physical church space, but I still leave it in good shape and in good hands. I also feel great stress about leaving my home - that other people might come in here and see a dust bunny and judge me.
Oh goodness, I have such a long road ahead of me to truly grow in wisdom. But for now, I will simply try to grow, I mean Go, on a family vacation.