Monday, September 9, 2013

No Apologies

I recently found myself trying to make conversation at a dinner party with someone I didn't know ... a relative of a friend of my husband's ... who asked me "what's new with you?"

I found myself floundering, saying something lame like "nothing really.  Between the kids, the house, and work, I don't have time for 'new' things."  The conversation then proceeded in a direction of this well-meaning lady telling me I needed to "get out more", put the kids in school, and basically "get a life".

It's not really her fault.  The way I presented my life, my inability to answer that simple small-talk question, did make it sound like I really don't have much of a life of my own.  By starting off from a position of apology - making excuses for why I couldn't think of anything "new" - I had already undermined my own life.

Thinking about it, I've come to a few realizations:

I don't need to have anything "New", when the everyday is just the way I want it.  

The whole question "What's New With You?" is really asking for you to give a highlight reel, preferably with some kind of major transition or adventure (travel!).  But people may just ask it because it's an easy conversation starter.

I am not really a collector of adventures.  I am more of a homebody.

I will not apologize for living the life I want to live.  

So I wish I had replied something like "Nothing 'new' really, since I'm so happy and content with my everyday life.  It is rich and full of things I enjoy like books to read, cooking and enjoying good food, homeschooling and getting to go on learning adventures with my kids, birdwatching from my window, taking care of my home and land, and trying out new homesteading projects like raising turkeys or making blackberry wine.  All of that keeps me busy and I love it."

We don't need to apologize for living the life we want to live.  Maybe it's not the way someone else would live - that's why it's your life and not theirs. Claim it proudly.  No apologies.

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